Saturday 17 September 2011

8 ways to keep relationship alive

1.  Start and end every day with hugs, kisses, and "I love you."
Affection is something we should give freely and often to our partner.  It doesn't cost anything and it doesn't hurt you.  In fact, there's nothing better than starting and ending the day with a warm hug, a loving kiss, and being told how special you are to your significant other.  Love is never something to hide or be ashamed of.  Let your partner know how important they are, that you think of them often, and that the words "I love you," will never be assumed.

2.  Factor in alone time.
With the stress, hustle, and bustle of work, commuting, getting dinner on the table for everyone, balancing the checkbook, laundry, and everything else, it's easy for partners to forget to sneak away for some special time together.  This is especially difficult once you have kids and they need more attention.  However, you can keep your relationship spark alive by planning time together.  Meet up during the day for coffee or lunch.  Get up a little early and share a quiet breakfast.  Schedule a date night and get out of the house.  Set boundaries with friends, relatives, and even the kids on the nights when you plan time for each there.  Then, be consistent and always make the time to be alone together.

3.  Don't take your partner for granted.
Ever notice how the laundry just gets done…or how the garbage is taken out every Tuesday night?  You and your partner both take responsibilities for important things in your life.  Don't get in such a lull that you take them for granted.  Thank them for the small things like filling up the gas tank or vacuuming the living room.  Let them know that you appreciate their efforts and then make sure you carry your own weight around the house.   The words "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome" still go a long way.

4.  Communication is key.
If you and your partner aren't talking about the important issues in your lives, then what's the point?  Communication is the key to any lasting relationship.  You have to let one another know what's on your mind, what's bothering you, what's making you happy.  Arguments should never be mean or hit below the belt.  Tell your spouse how you feel about things and get them to open, as well.  Try not to get defensive and never go straight to being angry.

5.  Trust, trust, trust.
If you don't have trust in your relationship, you're in for some hard times.  If you don't trust your partner, then everything else you're building together is doomed.  Trust is earned and cherished.  Trust is the foundation on which all relationships exist.  If you have any cause to doubt your partner, see #4 and talk it out.  Don't be paranoid or overbearing.  Just relax and trust in your love and relationship.

6.  Have fun and laugh together.
Chances are you started dating your partner because you had a lot in common and you enjoyed one another's company.  That doesn't need to—and shouldn't—change once you're married.  Laughter is the best medicine for anything that ails you.  Enjoy each other.  Have inside jokes.  Make each other laugh.  Life's too serious…so find the time to just be happy.

7.  Respect and patience.
As we settle into our relationships and get used to each other, it's best to be as patient as possible with your partner and to respect them always.  None of us are perfect.  We all have quirks or habits that might annoy.  One of you may snore too loudly.  The other might not put new toilet paper on the roll when it's out.  These might be little things, but they could add up.  Just be respectful of your partner's preferences and be patient with them.  These two items, mixed together, go hand in hand with a successful and long-lasting partnership.

8.  Great friendship is important, but so is a steady and healthy sex life.
It's sad how many couples drift apart over time.  They lose that freshness and closeness they had in the beginning.  They become friends more than lovers and neglect to satisfy the need for affection, companionship, and sex.  There's nothing wrong with a close friendship with your spouse.  You should get along and have a good time together.  However, you should keep the home fires burning with a regular sex life that's mutually satisfying.  Don't get in a rut and don't make excuses.  Make time for each other and keep the relationship between the sheets as important as anything else in your life.

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