1. Start and end every day with hugs, kisses, and "I love you."
Affection
is something we should give freely and often to our partner. It
doesn't cost anything and it doesn't hurt you. In fact, there's nothing
better than starting and ending the day with a warm hug, a loving kiss,
and being told how special you are to your significant other. Love is
never something to hide or be ashamed of. Let your partner know how
important they are, that you think of them often, and that the words "I
love you," will never be assumed.
2. Factor in alone time.
With
the stress, hustle, and bustle of work, commuting, getting dinner on
the table for everyone, balancing the checkbook, laundry, and everything
else, it's easy for partners to forget to sneak away for some special
time together. This is especially difficult once you have kids and they
need more attention. However, you can keep your relationship spark
alive by planning time together. Meet up during the day for coffee or
lunch. Get up a little early and share a quiet breakfast. Schedule a
date night and get out of the house. Set boundaries with friends,
relatives, and even the kids on the nights when you plan time for each
there. Then, be consistent and always make the time to be alone
together.
3. Don't take your partner for granted.
Ever notice how the
laundry just gets done…or how the garbage is taken out every Tuesday
night? You and your partner both take responsibilities for important
things in your life. Don't get in such a lull that you take them for
granted. Thank them for the small things like filling up the gas tank
or vacuuming the living room.
Let them know that you appreciate their efforts and then make sure you
carry your own weight around the house. The words "please," "thank
you," and "you're welcome" still go a long way.
4. Communication is key.
If
you and your partner aren't talking about the important issues in your
lives, then what's the point? Communication is the key to any lasting
relationship. You have to let one another know what's on your mind,
what's bothering you, what's making you happy. Arguments should never
be mean or hit below the belt. Tell your spouse how you feel about
things and get them to open, as well. Try not to get defensive and
never go straight to being angry.
5. Trust, trust, trust.
If
you don't have trust in your relationship, you're in for some hard
times. If you don't trust your partner, then everything else you're
building together is doomed. Trust is earned and cherished. Trust is
the foundation on which all relationships exist. If you have any cause
to doubt your partner, see #4 and talk it out. Don't be paranoid or
overbearing. Just relax and trust in your love and relationship.
6. Have fun and laugh together.
Chances
are you started dating your partner because you had a lot in common and
you enjoyed one another's company. That doesn't need to—and
shouldn't—change once you're married. Laughter is the best medicine for
anything that ails you. Enjoy each other. Have inside jokes. Make
each other laugh. Life's too serious…so find the time to just be happy.
7. Respect and patience.
As
we settle into our relationships and get used to each other, it's best
to be as patient as possible with your partner and to respect them
always. None of us are perfect. We all have quirks or habits that
might annoy. One of you may snore too loudly. The other might not put
new toilet paper on the roll when
it's out. These might be little things, but they could add up. Just
be respectful of your partner's preferences and be patient with them.
These two items, mixed together, go hand in hand with a successful and
long-lasting partnership.
8. Great friendship is important, but so is a steady and healthy sex life.
It's
sad how many couples drift apart over time. They lose that freshness
and closeness they had in the beginning. They become friends more than
lovers and neglect to satisfy the need for affection, companionship, and
sex. There's nothing wrong with a close friendship with your spouse.
You should get along and have a good time together. However, you should
keep the home fires burning with a regular sex life that's mutually
satisfying. Don't get in a rut and don't make excuses. Make time for
each other and keep the relationship between the sheets as important as
anything else in your life.
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